No words or emotions can describe the journey of trying to conceive when nothing seems to work. To bring everything up to speed in October after my wonderful husband Phillip and I got married I started taking 100mg of clomid on days 3-7. I was on clomid when we conceived out daughter in November of 2007 and was only on it for one month when we got pregnant. So I thought that since i was able to get pregnant so easy the first time the second time would be the same. Boy was I wrong. I have now done four rounds of clomid the last one with IUI. Started my period a week earlier then I should gave (right before hubby's b-day of course) then stopped and now started again today. This has never happened before so I was a little frightened and called my GYN nurse to see if there was something wrong, she assured me it was nothing but I was still a little freaked. She asked me if I took a pregnancy test and I said yes it was negative. I developed a rash on my stomach and my boobs are really sore, all prego related symptoms but still bleeding. Since all test were negative and I had my period I think it's safe to assume the first IUI didnt work. To say the least I have been doing all these fertility treatments and it turned out I'm most likely not the cause. Husbands seamen analysis came back twice inconclusive. They said the second time they tried to test his sperm there was so little they couldnt run the test. I find it really hard to believe after having a baby in 08' on our won he would be sterile but supposedly it's looking that way. The doctor didnt even want to perform the IUI but he went ahead and did it anyway and said he would give me three shots. After getting my period so early this month I decided against taking clomid and waiting to see what the urologist says after he sees my husband. There is a few week wait but I dont want to wast the last two chanced at IUI if its something simple liked a plugged vessel or his bp medicine is making his count low. Hubby did gain over 150 pounds since we conceived Jazlynn so this may be the cause as well. Who knows. But I'm not putting myself through the ordeal of more fertility treatments if their unnecessary. Obviously I would do anything for a baby and will jump right back into them again if the doctor says too. So hopefully he can get in to see the urologist in a few weeks and we hear some wonderful news otherwise we will try outr two chances left at IUI then figure out how to move onto IVF. IVF is so expensive we will never be able to afford it but I will do it if it gives me another miracle baby. I was made to be a mother and thats what I want to do. Jazlynn deserves siblings and my husband and I would love to create another life and bring it into our world. I love my daughter and I would love very much to be a mother again. Kids grow up so fast and i hate to feel like I may never get to experience the firsts with another baby. I feel un-whole and want to be able to put my whole life together and fill the void there. My family is wonderful but it still feels like here is a missing piece.
"Each day is a new canvas to paint upon. Make sure your picture is full of life and happiness, and at the end of the day you don't look at it and wish you had painted something different."
